Tuesday, February 26, 2008
It's a Boy!
Well, Rochelle has given me the floor, and I am to spill my thoughts all over it. Today has been one of those days that leaves you a little dazed and confused. As I took Rochelle to the hospital for the ultra sound, I felt like either way, boy or girl, I'd be happy and that would be that. I wasn't expecting to feel a whole lot of emotion, or to really think much about it beyond being able to call 'it' a 'he' or a 'she'. I had seen ultra sounds before. I already knew we were going to have a baby. I was excited to find out the gender, but hadn't put much more thought into it. But as we watched the images on the screen, and began to put a little bit more of an identity onto the baby, I felt overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts that I can scarcely identify. How do I explain my feelings? What do I tell people as I call them? About all I was able to say was: "We found out we are having a boy and we are excited about it." Today, excited was an understatement. But it left me speechless. Honestly, I really don't know what my feelings even are except that they are good ones. And my thoughts have little more clarity. About all I can say is that I felt an out pouring of love, joy, and happiness, for the baby, for Rochelle, for my parents, and everyone close to me. Feelings of gratitude for all of our blessings welled up in me. And all I could figure out to say was "we are excited". Well, excited we are. Feeling very blessed, we are. Trying to imagine what it will be like to hold that little boy in our arms. Trying to imagine what it will feel like to meet him for the first time. And then... trying to focus on work, and trying to be productive. Can I just say that today was not the best day at work for me? When I spoke to Rhonda today, she gave me some sage advice. I wish I could quote her, but as best as I can remember she said something like the following: "Kids bring you the greatest joys in life as well as the greatest heart aches." This is something that I have always known, but hearing it today after feeling the swelling of emotions that I had gave this concept new meanings to me. And honestly, I know I'm in for a roller coaster, but I'll do my best with the bitter, as long as I can enjoy the sweet. The bitter may be tough, but I truly believe that the sweet will out last it. And come what may, I am willing to give it my best.
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6 comments:
As you do with everything, Beej... congratulations to you both, and you're in for a treat! I've seen so many babies in my life, friends, cousins, siblings' kids, my own siblings, etc, that you'd think I'd be jaded by now, and I've never had one of my own, but every one is a sweet new experience and every one is a little miracle. It never gets old.
(Babysitting gets old. But holding babies and seeing newbies doesn't. ;-D )
BJ, I enjoyed reading your comments very much. I kind of thought that this whole experience had not really hit you yet--but I can see that it has now! What children do to you is to make you very vulnerable. You care so much about everything about them. The best advice I can offer is to do everything the Lord has asked us to do in raising our children and most likely, the outcome will include much more joy than pain. I love you very much and I fully expect that Gabriel is going to be a lot like his "Dad"--which will be wonderful. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!! Mom
Loved what you wrote, and what your mom wrote. You and Rochelle will be amazing parents. Congratulations.
What sweet thoughts, Beej! I adore you and I know you will be a great dad. You make this sis very proud!
Sweet comments from the dad-to-be. You will be a very sweet and great daddy!
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