It's a Boy!

Well, Rochelle has given me the floor, and I am to spill my thoughts all over it. Today has been one of those days that leaves you a little dazed and confused. As I took Rochelle to the hospital for the ultra sound, I felt like either way, boy or girl, I'd be happy and that would be that. I wasn't expecting to feel a whole lot of emotion, or to really think much about it beyond being able to call 'it' a 'he' or a 'she'. I had seen ultra sounds before. I already knew we were going to have a baby. I was excited to find out the gender, but hadn't put much more thought into it. But as we watched the images on the screen, and began to put a little bit more of an identity onto the baby, I felt overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts that I can scarcely identify. How do I explain my feelings? What do I tell people as I call them? About all I was able to say was: "We found out we are having a boy and we are excited about it." Today, excited was an understatement. But it left me speechless. Honestly, I really don't know what my feelings even are except that they are good ones. And my thoughts have little more clarity. About all I can say is that I felt an out pouring of love, joy, and happiness, for the baby, for Rochelle, for my parents, and everyone close to me. Feelings of gratitude for all of our blessings welled up in me. And all I could figure out to say was "we are excited". Well, excited we are. Feeling very blessed, we are. Trying to imagine what it will be like to hold that little boy in our arms. Trying to imagine what it will feel like to meet him for the first time. And then... trying to focus on work, and trying to be productive. Can I just say that today was not the best day at work for me? When I spoke to Rhonda today, she gave me some sage advice. I wish I could quote her, but as best as I can remember she said something like the following: "Kids bring you the greatest joys in life as well as the greatest heart aches." This is something that I have always known, but hearing it today after feeling the swelling of emotions that I had gave this concept new meanings to me. And honestly, I know I'm in for a roller coaster, but I'll do my best with the bitter, as long as I can enjoy the sweet. The bitter may be tough, but I truly believe that the sweet will out last it. And come what may, I am willing to give it my best.