Hello all,
How are you all doing? I hope well. I'm afraid not much is happening here. I spend my time at work or at home, and I don't get out too much. This coming week though, I'm going to try to get out more and take my camera with me so I can say I actually did something interesting while I was in India. Today Dave wanted to watch the final episodes of American Idol and so we watch those. I think Jordan was the better of the two, and am glad she won. I did enjoy Blake's performance with the other beat-boxer guy, and thought that was cool, but that's not the type of music I would listen to on a regular basis. But enough about that. Monsoon season seems to be rolling in. Last week it rained a couple of times, which was nice. It seems to have broken the heat a bit. Things that way have been more bearable. But the real monsoon season won't start for another week or two. I'm told that monsoon seasons aren't that bad here. It is rarely dangerous here... it just drizzles all the time. You Oregonians should know what that is like. Only here it is in the summer so it warmer rain. The first day it rained we were at a restaurant and we looked out and it was just pouring. It did get windy at times, but nothing like I remember Korea being like. In Korea the wind would blow signs down, and windows out of buildings. I hope to get some good pictures of some storms here. I tried the other day... but I was in the second floor of the building we work in, and you can barely tell it is raining from my pictures. I haven't tried to take pictures of rain before. It seems to be a bit of a challenge. ;-) I also felt a little sheepish pulling out my camera to take pictures while everybody watched me. I kinda stand out of the crowd here anyways, but whenever my camera comes out, I feel like such a tourist. Cest la vie! I have to say though, I will be glad to come home again and have some home cooked food. We went to the nicest restaurant in the entire city the other day (or so Dave says), and I truly enjoyed my first meal since I came here. It was an Italian restaurant and I had a chicken and mushroom dish. The meal came to $50 for the 3 of us. One interesting thing about this place is that every sit down restaurant here gives service like a 5 star restaurant in the US. They put your napkin on your lap, push in your chair, do the 5 course meal thing (which I still don't quite understand). And a 5% tip is good here. The restaurants that we frequent here seem to always have the same people working. Lunch, dinner, Monday through Friday, they are always there. If these people were in the US, we would call them workaholics. But here, it is normal. The brethren teach us to embrace the parts of our culture that are good, but that we are to shun the bad parts. I don't know what to think about their work habits here. Are they a good part or a bad part? Their work habits are what is bringing their country up, but at what price? Is this something that is good for them? I know the US went through a phase like this too... and it made our country what it is today (for good and bad). But you can't work in excess of 12 hours a day, and be close to your family in my opinion. At least I know Rochelle wouldn't like it if I did that, and worked ever other Saturday too. But many workers here do that. And they are rewarded for it. By doing it they get their promotions. I have been doing it right along side of them since I have been here. And honestly, I'm not bothered by it. But I would be if I were in the US. Part of the reason I'm ok with it here, is that by being at work, Rochelle can have more opportunities to talk to me. So working the long hours here actually gets me closer to my wife. But in the US working even 10 hours a day on a regular basis would be hard for me. Not being home in time for dinner would be hard for me. And so here is my philosophical question for the day. Lets say you and your family lived in the 1920, where times were hard. Few were very rich, but most were part of the working class. And for the working class to get by they had to work hard. (I'm picturing the conditions shown in “Cinderella Man”.) You have a job at a local factory, where hard work is rewarded. One person recently was promoted for working extra hard. He worked 70 hour weeks. Should you do the same? Now, the obvious answer would be 'No'. Who would openly state that they would rather have the money than time with their family. But again, think about what life must have been like in the 1920s. Feeding your family is a struggle, adequate housing means any place that can keep the rain out, and the only schooling your kids will have a chance at is that which is free, and life all around is hard. So what do you do? From my comfortable position, I have a hard time understanding how they do it, or why they do it. I don't think that I ever want to work the hours that these people work to “get ahead” but then again, I have more now than most of these people will ever have. A legacy give to me by my parents, country, ethnicity, culture and class. Oh certainly I worked to get to where I am, but it was easy compared to what type of work these people do to obtain much less. And so I am torn. Some of these people really want to work hard to get ahead, and I can understand that, but at the same time wish that they would spend a little more time at home. Some of these programmers that I work with I think will be very good husbands and fathers (one of which just got engaged), but they may not be home very much because of their eagerness to provide. I just hope that they do the right thing... whatever that is.
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10 comments:
gosh beej... it really is a hard one being on the 'outside' looking in.
one thing i can tell you- once you have children the entire question changes.
most parents would do anything to see their children have food in their tummies... then it turns to worries about education...etc. advancing in your career and sacrificing for your future is often considered necessary- kind of like paying your dues, and then everyone in the family pitches in (as they can) to help the reality of a brighter future become stronger.
like schooling, extra time and effort in the work place is an investment. and in the end, you'll wonder: did you find balance in the process or give up too much...
back in the days of the depression people did whatever came along to survive. sometimes i feel like that- even then, it still IS a choice and should be considered thoughtfully and prayerfully to avoid the big R word: regret.
i keep asking: now where did my crystal ball go...?!?
You make my brain tired! Also, it is late!! I know that the people in my Mom and Dad's families had very difficult times during the depression. I don't think there really was a choice about how long and hard they worked. They just had to in order to survive. And all of them worked--even very young children. So many times, the kids were in the fields, factories or whatever helping out. It really is an individual choice. And of course, we think differently because of the Gospel. I hope and pray that the people of India and other places where poverty abounds, will be able to make their homes a better place--the best way they can. Good luck on the photos. We look forward to seeing all of them!
Mom
You do ask the questions, don't you... It's one I don't know the answer to. I think back to what I know and understand of my grandparents' families, particularly on my mom's side. Lots of kids, lots of mouths to feed, and they grew up in the 20s and the "dirty 30s." The thing is, from what I understand, Dad didn't go out and work on his own and never come home... everyone went out and worked together, did everything they could to take care of the family. And in both families, Dad died or was put out of commission physically before all the kids were grown and taken care of, so the older siblings chipped in and helped. I do come from a farming background, though... And farming is a family affair. But they didn't seem to lose anything of the family spirit or the Gospel spirit. They learned a great work ethic, they learned frugality and honesty and how to have simple, inexpensive fun. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you do what you HAVE to do... I think the trick is to know when you're working 70 hours weeks because you are obsessed with hoarding money away, and when you're working 70 hours weeks because you honestly have no other choice to pay the bills and feed the kids. It isn't unheard of in the US or Canada, either... There are a lot of people that still have to work two jobs and both parents are gone, just to keep food on the table... I guess part of the answer is another question: What are your motives?
BJ, I think more people work those kind of hours here than you think. Too often, jobs give you no choice if you want to keep that job. Take Kirk for instance, does he choose to travel 50% of his time which takes him away from us? Not on your life. If he had the option, he would be home more. However, the reality is, families are expensive to have and provide for. His job provides us with the means to do that, but sacrifice is definitely involved. All I can say, is that you do the best you can with what you are given, and we do our best to have as much balance as we can through it all. Love ya...take care!
BJ, the comments already made above consist of the kinds of things I might say. Paying your dues to provide for one's family and improve your earning potential has always been essential. And like the others have said, the key is to find the balance. It's not something you instinctively know. You learn much by trial and error. More error than not, but in the process we learn to appreciate all that we do have and the opportunities that we are blessed with. My parents grew up during the depression years when money was scarce. They knew poverty, but they didn't necessarily see themselves as poor. They were optimistic and happy. So, I guess what I'm saying is what the others have said even better than I have; you dream, you do, you smile, you work and pray, and you try to find the balance that will keep you and your family all together.
I love your insight and thoughtfulness. Good luck with the photos.
Love ya,
Dad
I believe that sacrifice is priciple that lifts us all. The real question in my mind is, is this selfish or selfless sacrifice. Some work to avoid conflict at home, others work to get rich, some just work hard because they love their family and want the best for them. I know many fathers who work long hours and then find meaninful ways to interact with their family. On the other hand, there are those who work for the praise of man or the $ and generally are selfish at home as well. We all find ourselves in different circumstances that are designed to give us opportunities to become better people. the trick is to recognize the opportunity, keep our focus on the end goal (live christ centered lives) and constantly battle the adversary to avoid pride, selfishness, and distractions.
The culture issue is a tuffy. You saw it in Korea, I saw it in Japan. All we can do is teach and set an example of a life filled with true joy and peace. We can only hope to influence one life at a time. We can't let the sheer volume of the problem discourage us.
Great question - I enjoyed the discussions and comments.
Hey Beej,
A great blog and great comments to boot. What if I now talk about the sale going on at Nordstroms? Wouldn't fit would it. :) Let's see. We all have choices-and you are a perfect example of someone with a lot of choices. You pray, prioritize and decide. Rhonda has a point in that everything changes when children are involved and I love Dad's point that optimism is key. I read a talk from Pres. Hinckley's son and he spoke of Pres. Hinckley's optimism. There is nothing definitively wrong with working hard and getting children to work alongside is awesome. But there must be a time for everything-work, play, study etc.
So there is my two cents-actually, I am still buzzing from Rochelle's blog too. I can't wait to take humanitarian trips with my children. I want them to see life in other parts of the world.
Love you Beej! Come home safe to us!
Hey BJ. Sounds like you are having some good experiences that will help you better see life from the perspective of others. Good. We learn from challenging what we know and think. Keep safe.
By the way, "anonymous" above is your brother, Ryan. ;-)
I love your philosophical, thought provoking blogs. While tons of exciting things may not be going on there, you obviously have tons going on in your mind! Good questions. I love ya!
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